Pause, rest, re-set...

Life as a married, full-time working parent to an almost 5-year-old always moving boy and a six-year-old always talking girl, is stressful on it's own, but lately life has been moving in warped speed. I have had little time for my friends, for my family or for myself. The consistent theme? Go! go! go! And it's been a little much...

One thing I've come to realize about myself over the last year is that when the going gets tough and stressful, I zero-in on staying focused. Relentless focus actually. Most other people, (healthier and saner people) would likely take a step back, pause, breathe and then forge forward. But not me - My intensity has always increased with expectations and my self-imposed perfectionism. Having said that, intensity and stress can only fuel someone for so long before they fizzle out. Thus what's lead me one this quest of finding a healthier path.

"...the brain is an overgrown forest. The easiest paths to walk are the ones that are most habitually used and well worn. The same is true of the mind. That's why habits are so easy to repeat and difficult to break."..... the same author who wrote these words*, likened the practice of meditation to bushwhacking new pathways of sustaining concentration, which, once worn and traveled, become new, healthier behaviours and habits.

His point about meditation is true, I believe, in both a high-arching metaphorical sense and in the literal sense. In the broader sense, if you stop, assess and choose healthier ways of doing things in any part of your life (no matter how hard this process can be at first), you are welcoming positive change and thereby enriching your life.

As strange as it seems, one of the hardest things for me to do is to simply STOP when I am going full-speed/full-throttle and to pause... Whether this is during a busy day at work or a busy time in my life, this has always been a challenge for me. As I mentioned earlier, in this area of my life the path most often travelled is focus, intensity, stress... What I have begun doing though is interrupting the chaos, where and when needed, with moments of pausing, resting and re-setting. I have been this doing by incorporating yoga, meditation and pranayama into my daily life as often as possible. Even simpler than that, I'm trying to stop and smell the roses every day...

Luke and I recently took a mini break to Victoria and instead of worrying about timelines, deadlines, bedtimes or dinner clean-ups, my eyes drank in the island's native flora, its beautiful vibrant-coloured arbutus and dark majestic oak trees, the grainy and poetic architecture, the contrast of vanilla-coloured clouds against the backdrop of robin's egg blue sky and my nose soaked in the smell of the two-row stone crop bushes in full bloom and the cleansing fresh sea air... We ate, we laughed, we explored, we relaxed, we read, we walked in the sand, yoga on the beach, we talked.... We took it all in. I didn't once worry about... anything. In fact other that the unfortunate pile-driving that was taking place outside our favourite eatery on day two, I was truly able to pause, rest and re-set.

Our last night I was started to feel a little under the weather and so listening to the cues of my body, instead of going for the fried food, beer and gluttony that my mind was telling me I was obligated to indulge in while on vacation, I took a road less travelled for me vacation-wise and opted for fresh and clean meal at the island's (and B.C.s) famous vegetarian restaurant. Instead of vino or beer, I opted for some freshly juiced beet-apple-ginger-carrot juice and an apple-blueberry-strawberry-lemon smoothie.

It's the little changes I find that are making the most difference in my overall day-to-day mental and physical health transformation.... Of course this is all made easier with the incredible patience and love from Luke (my wonderfully-supportive and closet-hippy husband)!

 

*Misadventures of a Garden State Yogi - Brian Leaf